When MILF goes bad…

Behold, Cindy Crawford – arguably one of the most beautiful women EVER – drunk and pole dancing at a club in San Tropez the night before Pam Anderson and Kid Rock’s wedding.



Couple things I’d like to address here. First, is anyone else slightly disappointed that Cindy’s breasts look kind of saggy? I mean, of course they are…she’s getting up there in age. But still, she was (is still in my heart) a supermodel for God’s sake. I thought supermodels were supposed to be made of some kind of indestructible Teflon material. I mean, that’s the ONLY explanation for why I am NOT a supermodel – it has NOTHING to do with the fact that I’m short and have an ass the size of South Dakota. It’s because God didn’t make me out of Teflon.

But Cindy’s boobs are clearly not made of Teflon – they no longer defy gravity. They instead seem to have embraced it. “Bring it on, gravity! These ta-tas are all yours!”

Okay, now that I’ve gotten past that, there’s something else that I’d like to address. Does that stripper pole look familiar to you?



No? Here’s a little reminder.



AAAAAAAAAAAK! Cindy, NOOOOOOOOO! Don’t touch that! You don’t know where it’s been! Actually, you know WHERE it’s been – the real question is where HASN’T it been. I really hope you washed your hands and then had your husband Randy scrub you with a mixture of bleach and penicillin.

Oh Cindy…