Good god…

It’s been reported that Tori Spelling, who has been cut out of her father’s will by her evil shrew of a mother, has hired an estate sale company to sell more than 200 of her designer outfits on eBay.

Sad. So sad.

Soooooooooooo, let’s get the bidding started, shall we?

Do I hear $100 for this outfit?



$100? Anyone? Anyone? Okay, how about $75? $75 dollars. And we’ll throw in this lovely ensemble as an added bonus:



$75? Sir? You in the back? Oh, just scratching your head wondering which episode of Dynasty she stole that outfit from? I believe it’s from Season 4, Episode 6 entitled Tender Comrades. But I digress.

$75, people! Come on! The peasant shirt ALONE had to be worth like $80 at last season’s Filene’s Basement clearance sale. And the shorts! The SHORTS! I mean, okay so she probably stole them from her grandfather’s house when he was at his weekly bridge game but think of the history there! That kind of history is priceless!

Okay, $50? $25? $10? How ‘bout I give it to you? You just have to take it home. Just cough…don’t even raise a paddle. Cough and it’s yours.

….

Okay fine. BREATHE. Breathe and it’s yours.

Damn it, people! This is a piece of Spelling history!

Okay, I’ll give you $5 to take it. $5! A crisp $5 bill.

SOLD to the slightly creepy man with the yellow, leather pants and the Brandon Walsh haircut.