When dresses go bad...

I like to say that you can't go wrong in a dress. But clearly that's a dirty lie as these stars proved this week.

Katherine McPhee.



The color is pretty but the belt looks (1) cheap, (2) like it doesn't belong, and (3) ugly and weird and inappropriately paired with such a delicate frock. Also, the bottom looks like she just came from the bathroom and, so shaken by how flat her hair looks she neglected to notice that her dress was tucked into the control top of her pantyhose. And that's unfortunate because if you think the front looks bad, just imagine what the view from behind is.

One I didn't expect to see was Jennifer Lopez.



But sweet Jesus what is this mess? I can't believe Marc Anthony let her leave the house like this and didn't put the Puerto Rican Smack Down on her. Skulls? Really, Jennifer. You're too old for this business. And the shoes? I'm all for multi-use but I don't think it's necessary for your shoes to double as floatation devices. You're J.Lo. We get it. No need to prove your stardom by attempting to walk on water.

And of course, no list would be complete without Chloe Sevigny, my muse.



It's very "Wicked Witch of the West Goes To Prom in 1983." But the hair and makeup look fantastic and she'd look very pretty if you cut off her head and perhaps displayed it as part of a fruit platter instead of atop that hideous taffeta massacre.

Oh, crazy Juliette Lewis...



This outfit is so special. And I know it's not a dress - no, no...that would be too pedestrian for sweet Juliette. Instead she's paired shimery white pantyhose with puffy trouser shorts, cropped leather jacket, with electric blue suede hooker boots and a lavender beret in what I can only assume is a tribute to Elvis Presley's trip to Paris in the 1950s. And I mean, who doesn't love Elvis, you know? For that I'll give her a pass...

...this time.