Oh heeeeeeeeell no...not my man!

I can't...I mean...why would he...I just...

I am in shock.

My future ex-husband, George Clooney is ALLEGEDLY dating Pam Anderson. The two were seen canoodling at an LA restaurant together (alone in a closed off VIP section) and have been spotted all over town walking their dogs together!

WTF?!

Listen, I like Pammy. Correction, I like when she's dating train wrecks like Kid Rock or Tommy Lee and hilarity ensues...NOT when she's muscling in on my territory. And yes, I realize that this relationship won't last but that is NOT the point.

BACK OFF, LADY! I mean it! Keep your Big H-ridden paws off my Georgie-poo.