Fed up...

Me again. I'd like to discuss the following photo:



In case your eyes were too offended by the ugly hat/wife beater combo (popularized by old Cuban men who sell oranges and churros on the street in Miami) let me point out that's Kevin Federline performing...in front of PEOPLE. Though I'm fairly certain that attracting that crowd involved a combination of horse tranquilizer, cheap vodka and 300 cases of Red Bull, it's not K-Fed's outfit, lack of talent, trailer trash wife, stupid nickname, habit of producing illegitimate children, horrible fashion sense or greasy hair, that I want to discuss. That would be petty.

What I'd like to discuss is her:


She looks like she's having a good time, huh? At a KEVIN FEDERLINE CONCERT. Does everyone else see where I'm going with this?

Poor mistaken lost child. For her sake I hope she's drunk. I hope she sucked down one too many Long Island Iced Teas (doesn't she look like a Long Island girl?) and mistook K-Fed for Eminem...or Julio Iglesias. Long Island's will do that to you.

But my point is, NO ONE should be having this much fun at a Kevin Federline performance. NO ONE should wave their hands in the air like they just don't care at a Kevin Federline concert. Because they should care. They should care very much. They should care because THIS is what he's singing:

In Portuguese it means bring your ***,
on the floor, and move it real fast.
I want to see your kitty and a little bit of ***
wanna know where I go when I'm your city?

Girl, don't you worry about all the dough,
because a cat is coming straight outta the know,
ready to rock them shows all the way to Rio.
Bring that Brazil booty on the floor.

That's wrong, people. It's wrong on so many levels.

This message goes out to the girl in the photo who is one glow stick away from being a Saturday Night Live sketch. You know how your mom used to tell you not to feed stray cats because then they would just keep coming back? Same situation.

Do not encourage K-Fed. By "encourage" I of course mean smile, clap, make eye-contact with, not spit on, etc. Anything that may lead him to believe that people enjoy the cacophony he calls music. (and by "music" I of course mean, "crap")

One more thing. If for some bizarre reason you actually enjoy Kevin Federline's music...well, may God help you. If it's any consolation, he and Britney should be splitting any day now. Soon he'll be available again. (and by "available" I of course mean "broke and free to spread his VD throughout the country.")