A note from Lindsay Lohan...

So, like, oh my god, bitches. I'm totally rockin' this hot new outfit, right?



Know what I like about it? It's all like see-through and short and shit but it's got pockets that I can keep my coke in. I mean, I totally don't DO coke because I'm, like, a kick-ass role model and shit. I mean, stuff. SHIT!

I totally have to stop cursing like that 'cause my mom says that classy women don't curse. Which I say is total bullsh...um, total crap because I hang with TONS of classy people and they all curse way more than I do. So suck on that, Mom.

Don't try to tell me what to do. In the immortal words of Britney Spears "what I gotta do to live my life" huh, Mom?

Anyway, enough about my mom - back to me. So, my mom was all, "Linds, you look like Stevie Nicks in that outfit."

And I'm all, "Who the hell is he? Are you calling me a lesbian? I hate you! You've stollen my childhood!"

And the thing is, I'm totally not. A lesbian I mean. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that I like to get it on with guys like, all the time, right? But I'm not some kind of ho or firecrotch or whatever that greaseball guy said about me. I'm like WAY classy.

You got that, Mom?