When belts attack...

What is the purpose of a belt? I mean, really? The purpose, ladies and gentlemen, is to hold up your pants. Sure some folks have taken belts and made them more decorative in nature. But, at the very core, belts are made to hold up your pants.

Which is why I'm having a hard time understanding this look:



Could the belt be, maybe holding up her breasts? Is she wearing very high-waisted, yet loose-fitting shorts? I don't understand.

Much like I don't understand this, albeit for very different reasons:



Oh, SJP. What has happened? Where did we go wrong? And is that electrician's tape wrapped around your waist?

I suppose it's better than wrapping yourself in a gray, burlap potato sack and cinching it with black rubber tubing:



I guess.