Oscar fasion recap...

Snore. Almost everyone looked lovely at the Oscars last night. And that is quite a shame because it gives us less to work with here at BWOT.

But there were a few...a handful, really, that made logging onto my computer this morning quite the joy. Let's begin, shall we?

1. Anne Hathaway
Look, I adore Anne Hathaway. She's never "flashing beav" or spilling out of Area with a greasy oil heir at her side. Okay so there was one unfortunate "I thought my dress was opaque but not under intense flash bulbs" moment in her young past, but other than that I think she's a well behaved, well groomed, disease-free young lady. So it pains me to say that the entire time she was on stage presenting I was fantasizing about hacking off that wretched bow from the front of her dress. And also the one on the back. It's so horribly reminicent of the 1993 Jessica McClintock bridesmaid collection. And believe me when I say that '93 was not a good year for Ms. McClintock.



2. Kelly Preston...and John Travolta's hair
I don't mind the occassional animal print. I think it's sort of fun and vampy. I DO mind, however, when it's a floor-length gown, made of cheap material that is clinging to your body in all the wrong places. I also hate that type of halter neckline - it only looks good on super skinny, YOUNG women...otherwise it does strange things to your chest and neck and arms. I am also generally against ensembles that look like they came from the stores "Rave" or "5-7-9" or perhaps "Boom Boom's D-Luxe Gowns R Us." Oh, and also, John Travolta's hair looks like a burnt umber hair fountain...what's with the bangs? Nice piece, Johnny.



3. Elizabeth Shue
A. What is SHE doing at the Oscars? (though I loved her in Adventures in Babysitting, I haven't seen her in anything since The Saint with Val Kilmer and, correct me if I'm wrong, that wasn't exactly an Oscar contender though for reasons I can't comprehend I've seen it like 10 times.)
B. Perhaps next time (if there is a next time) she can go buy a new dress? A gown, even? Seriously, she looks like she's going Speed Dating at the local Radisson. And, I know it's probably asking too much, but can you at least blow-dry your hair? Maybe put on some make-up? Something? Anything? Ugh, I have to move on. This is too upsetting.



4. Kirsten Dunst
I've heard more Oscar recaps where people are just raving about this dress. Tim Gunn from Project Runway said it was stunning. TIM GUNN. No, unacceptable. I hate it. It's matronly, the color is boring, the weird little collar is distracting, I don't understand the feathers at the bottom. I just hate it. HATE IT. But then again, no one asked for my opinion. Though clearly Kiki should've.



5. Jennifer Hudson
I understand the plight of the full-figured gal. Really, I do. And I have no problem with her dress - I love chocolate brown and the cut is very flattering on her. I do have a problem with the Judy Jetson bolero thing she's wearing. First, it's taking away from the dress. Second, I understand the goal is to cover her arms but, seriously? We get it! You're not a size 0. Who cares? Move on! Show some skin! And give Judy her bolero back!



I would also like to take this moment to say that Ms. Hudson is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't know why. I think it's the lack of humility. I know that's stupid but if you're a first timer and you're at the friggin Oscars and you're NOMINATED for a friggin Oscar I want you...no, I EXPECT you to be ga-ga over the other bigger, more important stars. I want you to burst out crying and making the appropriate "oh my god I can't believe I won" faces when they call your name. I want you to thank all the other actresses in your category and say that you can't believe your name was uttered in the same context as those other women. I got none of that. Sure she sniffled a little and thanked her grandmother and all. But it wasn't enough. I needed more. And for those reasons, I officially don't care for Jennifer Hudson. And now I'm moving on.

Good lord, this is getting long! Okay, am going to lump the next few together because I'm tired of reading my own crap!

6. From the Vanity Fair Oscar Party: Lucy Liu, Chloe Sevigny (yay!), Linda Evangelista
I'll keep this simple. I love Lucy Liu but hate those butterfly sleeves. I just don't think they're flattering. And the color is too pasty for Lucy.



Chloe Sevigny never disappoints. And, to support the "green theme" of this year's Oscars, her dress is made entirely of recycled Venitian blinds. Now that's a special girl.



Linda Evangelista is gorgeous and I've always said that she would look good in a potato sack. Clearly she took me up on the challenge.



Did I miss anyone? Let me know!