Geogra-who?

A recent study uncovered that most young Americans (18-24) suck at geography. These survey results don't surprise me because, though I'm not in this demographic, I too suck at geography. In fact, I couldn't find the Hudson River if you drowned me in it.

I realize that this is not something I should be proud of. And I'm not. (though it makes for fun cocktail party conversation) Check out a few of the survey results below.

33% of respondents couldn't pinpoint Louisiana on a map. - Dude, this one's easy. It looks like a boot. Shoes are something that I can easily identify.

2/3 didn't know that the earthquake that killed 70,000 people in October 2005 occurred in Pakistan. - I would like to know how many of these dopes can even SPELL Pakistan.

Six in 10 could not find Iraq on a map of the Middle East. - Okay, I'm pretty sure I could find Iraq. I think. I mean, I could get you to the general AREA, you know? Like I can point you in the direction of China Town but I can't give you specifics on how to get there? That kind of thing.

47% could not find the Indian subcontinent on a map of Asia. - Okay, now I'm officially scared for our country.

75% were unable to locate Israel on a map of the Middle East. - See aforementioned China Town reference.

Nearly 3/4 incorrectly named English as the most widely spoken native language. - Morons. Although...um...what IS the most widely spoken native language? I'm going to guess Spanish. Yeah, definitely going with Spanish. That's my final answer.

Six in 10 did not know the border between North and South Korea is the most heavily fortified in the world. - Are those two crazy kids still fighting? Girls, girls...you're both pretty.

30% thought the most heavily fortified border was between the United States and Mexico. - HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA! Right...that's why people can cross it with everything they own strapped to their back and three kids in tow.

For those readers who can feel my pain, you are not alone. I think we owe it to ourselves - no, our country - to start watching more Jeopardy! and tuning in to the Discovery Channel a bit more often.