Dude looks like a lady...

God I hate her.



I know, I know. You guys are all, "What is your deal with Paris Hilton? Let it go, okay?"

But I cannot. I will not. And you can't make me. EVER.

Here's the thing. What annoys me most is when Paris is photographed looking...well, pretty. I hate when she tries to dress like a lady. It's like she's in costume. I feel like she's getting ready to make her stage debut in a heartbreaking production of Our Town set to 50-cent music.



(by the way, P...I hate your shoes - proof that you can take the lady out of the whorehouse, but you can't take the WHORE out of the lady)

Anywho, my point is that this is Paris Hilton and I'm disappointed when I don't see her looking like the dirty, vapid slut-puppy she really is. I'm disappointed when she doesn't look like this:



Or perhaps this:



I mean LOOK AT THIS:



Glossy hair, pretty make-up, a dress that's long enough to cover her ovaries. It's brilliant. And yet it wouldn't be me if I didn't say WHAT THE F IS UP WITH THAT HALF GLOVE? Maybe it's actually a bandage treating some sort of infection that she got from scratching her crotch in the photo above.

Damn you, Paris. Damn you straight to hell for making me admit that sometimes, in the right light and semi-sober you actually look somewhat attractive.

I will never forgive you.