Sexy is in the eye of the beholder...
Things that are NOT sexy:
1. Women who don't dress their age.
No, for real. You're like 27. And you're wearing a pink, American Idol back-pack. Should I assume that you never want to have sex? That you plan on living the rest of your life alone in a duplex with 20 cats and your collection of Strawberry Shortcake memorabilia? Because lady, you and your back-pack are skipping down that path.
Okay, I have to say this. I have a friend - we'll call her Bertha to protect her identity - who is obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. (you know who you are, Bertha) The problem is, she's 28 and as much as I love Pooh, I don't feel the need to wear his likeness on my faded blue overalls. Actually, I don't feel the need to wear overalls - period. But that's neither here nor there.
My point is, there are certain things that are just not appropriate after a certain age. Like mini-skirts over 25. And on the flip side, there are certain things that are not appropriate under a certain age. Like any dress with a ruffled collar under the age of 70.
But for some reason, fashion violations earned by women who dress too old for their age never seem to be as egredious as those who dress too young for their age.
Let me make this clear.
THINGS YOU CAN'T WEAR OVER THE AGE OF 10:
- Pajamas with feet.
- Barbie ANYTHING.
- Hello Kitty ANYTHING.
- AMERICAN IDOL ANYTHING. (are you reading this weird girl?)
THINGS YOU CAN'T WEAR OVER THE AGE OF 18:
- Boy Band ANYTHING.
- "Retro cartoon" ANYTHINGS. (this includes Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake, Scooby Doo, He-Man, Jem and/or Transformers.)
- Really short shorts. (tell that to my sister who just bought a pair of shorts that could double as the bottom of a Wonder Woman costume)
- And that reminds me, SUPER HERO ANYTHING.
THINGS YOU CAN'T WEAR OVER THE AGE OF 25:
- Miniskirts.
- Tube tops.
- Head to toe leopard print - ARE YOU LISTENING, PARIS?!
- Things with feathers.
- UGGs. (I hate UGGs all the time but I suppose I can allow young chicks to wear them...in the winter...with pants...NOT mini-skirts...to the corner market...not to a nice restaurant.
posted by BWOT Editors @ 12:21
2 comments
2 Comments:
Can I just tell you? In high schools all over this country the new thing is skirts that DO NOT COVER your underwear. I'm not kidding here. I'm serious! It's true. This brings up two very important questions. ONE: Who is letting those girls out of the house like that? and TWO: How is this a good idea, let alone any kind of fashion? Oh, and three: can you imagine what those classrooms are like? Seriously, how much actual learning do you think is going on when Suzi Sophmore's EVERYTHING is basically showing. Things that should be outlawed--skirts that double as belts!
um - if I find a REALLY COOL wonderwoman shirt can I wear it? seriously, I think you went a little harsh on this one, people have personalities dammit!
We can't all wear navy clored knee length skirts with closed toed leather heels and a friggin' blazer ALL THE TIME! American Idol anything is WRONG but no super hero stuff? awe jeez!
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