Sexy is in the eye of the beholder...Commuter Edition

Oh, I just love my commute! Where else could I get this much blog-worthy material?

Things that are NOT sexy:
1. Wearing the crotch of your pants between your knees.

Oh my god! This poor kid! He's missing his feet! What a terrible disability. Perhaps there's a foundation that we could donate money to or...hey! Wait a gosh darn second! He's not missing his feet! He's just wearing his pants like a jackass! Phew!

2. Sweater vests.

Now isn't this a lovely combination? Navy blue, cable knit, zip-front, hooded vest over a cap-sleeve black t-shirt. Did someone forget to take her Wal-Mart uniform off before she got on the train? Hmm?

3. F***ing formal shorts.

Aaww, did you wear your fancy shorts just for moi? And tapered too! Two of my favorite things! Tapered pants. Formal shorts. All rolled into one! Is it my birthday? Did I win a prize? Is it my lucky day?

4. Gold boots...unless you're a member of the P-Funk or The Family Stone.

The top half of her outfit whimpers, "Please ma! Don't make me shoot Old Yeller!" Her bottom half just screams "Oh Captain Kirk...you're so big and strong." God, I love fusion outfits.