I love the law...

Here’s the deal. I’ve decided to trademark the star, okay? Now no one is allowed to draw a star unless they give me money. Got it? You know what? Make that the heart too. Man, I'm smart. Wily. Savvy and stuff.

Kindergarteners everywhere: No more stars or hearts in your Crayola drawings, okay? They’re MINE.

Lovesick teenage girls: No more “I HEART Billy.” Better make it “I RECTANGLE” or “I ISOCELES TRIANGLE BILLY.” Don't like it? I accept Visa and Mastercard.

That’s just silly, right? I mean, who can trademark something as ubiquitous as a star or a heart? How about a smiley face?

Clearly someone needs to discuss this with Franklin Loufrani, head of a London-based company called SmileyWorld. Franklin claims that he filed for a U.S. trademark on the smiley face in 1997. He’s had one in France since 1971.

Why is this even newsworthy? Because Franklin and his family are suing Wal-Mart for trademark infringement. They claim that the Wal-Mart smiley face violates trademark policy – they say Wal-Mart can’t even use the WORD smiley in conjunction with the logo.



"A prehistoric man probably invented the smiley face in some cave, but I certainly was the first to register it as a trademark," said Loufrani.

This is so retarded I don’t even know where to begin. So I won’t. I’ll just let you enjoy. But I will close by saying that I did see Forrest Gump and I think, if anyone has a case, it’s Forrest.

Now have a nice day.