Kick off your Sunday shoes…

Oh my god. I just had a Footloose flashback.



According to the Associated Press, a new study has linked sexual lyrics with teen sex.

“Teens who said they listened to lots of music with degrading sexual messages were almost twice as likely to start having intercourse or other sexual activities within the following two years as were teens who listened to little or no sexually degrading music.”

I hope this doesn’t lead to schools everywhere canceling proms. I mean, this is America, the land of opportunity. The land in which every teenager is free to raid their parent’s liquor cabinet, wear rented clothes, dance barefoot and/or with their ties on their head, and finally get to third base.

Readers, I think we all have to sit back and ask ourselves one question. What would Kevin Bacon do?



You know what Kevin Bacon would do? He’d quote Bible verses and kick some redneck ass. He’d dance in barns and on tractors and perform homoerotic pelvic thrusts while ensconced in shadows and light.

And I quote, “Hey, hey! What's this I see? I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!”

Did the music make Kevin Bacon want to go out and have sex? NO. It did not. He just wanted to boogie. He just wanted to get his freak on. And isn’t that what America is all about?