A new target for my wrath...

Fine. I confess. I'm addicted to reality shows about people singing and dancing. You've read my commentary on Dancing with the Stars (HEART!) and Celebrity Duets (double HEART!) and now it's time for one more...Rock Star: Supernova.

I WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY YOU SO STUFF IT.

It is SO bad it's good. Because, let's face it, Tommy Lee is totally gross and hep-ridden but he's still hot in what my friend Aurora calls a "Dirty Wrong Love" kind of way. (DWL for short) BUT, every rose has its thorn, my friends. And the thorn on Rock Star: Supernova is this damn wanna-be whore Storm Large.



STORM. LARGE. What kind of f-ed up name is that? I bet her real name is like Elizabeth Masterson or something white bread country club like that. I bet she wore thick glasses and had braces and a mouth guard until she was 17.

Sorry. I just...EEW. She skeeves me out.

Maybe I should explain the premise of this show for those of you living under a rock. This is either the second or third series of Rock Star. A high profile band (last season it was INXS) conducts a talent search for a new lead singer. This season the band is Supernova - drummer Tommy Lee from Motley Crue, bassist Jason Newsted from Metallica, and guitarist Gilby Clarke from Guns N Roses who has rocked a David Cassidy haircut all season. No, for real:



You know what? I don't like it but he's super talented and kind of hot in a rock star kind of way so I'm totally going to let it fly. (I will, however, point out that he looks as though he's auditioning to be the fourth Charlie's Angel. Ahem...I digress...) Oh, and Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke are co-hosts. (Dave is also big time DWL)

Anyway, back to Storm Large and why I hope she falls of the stage next week and breaks her vocal chords.

You know that guy at work who takes every word that comes out of your mouth and turns it into a sexual innuendo? Let me demonstrate.

Me: "I hope that cafeteria is serving taco salads today."
Creepy Coworker: "I'd like to taco your salad."

See? Okay so I didn't actually have this conversation but I think you all get my point. Anywho, this is Storm Large. Not only that, but every time Tommy, Gilby or Jason say anything to her she's all "Mmm hmm...thank you baby, I love you. You guys are awesome." All in this ultra phony breathy way.

So anyway, the other night she performed that Evanecense song "Bring Me To Life." And she SUCKED. Not only did she suck but she made the mistake of bringing this other HOT performer, Toby, in to sing back-up. Toby stole the show - even the Supernova guys said it. Here, watch for yourself. And when you do, watch her response when she's being judged. TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO SLAP THAT GRIN OFF HER FACE!?

So, my all time favorite is Dilana...though part of me really wants to shave her head while she's sleeping. But that's neither here nor there. Check out my favorite performance! Oh, I should mention that apparently she said something negative in the press - I don't what it was and, quite frankly, I don't care. She's way cool, she has a cool voice and she doesn't appear to be trying so hard to be all rocker and stuff.

Anyway, so last night Dilana was in the bottom three so she had to perform a song. She picked Psycho Killer which I think was an excellent choice for her. Anywho, stupid ho Storm Large was totally trying to infringe on Dilana's stage! She's standing there dancing, laying on the floor, trying to be all hardcore rock and roll. LOOK! Watch stupid Storm on the right hand side of the screen.

Ohmigod, HATE. HATE!! BACK UP OFF MY HOMEGIRL!

But the point is, I can't get enough of this show. I blame it on my friend Marc for introducing me to it. But it's SO good. You must watch.

And please, help me get stupid Storm Large booted by voting for EVERYONE ELSE BUT HER.

I'm officially a dork for writing this blog post, aren't I? Oh well, if Gilby Clarke can live with Patridge Family hair, I can live with my own dorkiness.