Sleepy Celebs…

Someone sent me a link to some pictures of celebrities yawning. Allow me to say one thing…WERE YOU ALL RAISED IN A BARN? Not one person in these photos is covering their mouth. Not one. Okay, that’s not true – there’s one guy, and to be frank, I have no idea who he is because I can’t see past his ugly hat and sunglasses. Sort of looks like Ben or Ashton, but I can’t confirm. Whoever he is, his momma taught him right.

But as for the rest of you hooligans, tsk tsk. For shame.

I have to say, it brings me mild pleasure (okay, not so mild) to see that even glamorous celebs have to contend with the evil faux-double-chin (FDC) from time to time. Take Jennifer Lopez for instance.

First, I should address the fact that her feathered collar and severe hair are sort of reminding me of the bald eagle character on The Muppet Show or maybe Cruella DeVille. But look! A double chin! I know Jennifer does not have a double chin but there’s something reassuring about this photo. It says, “See? Jennifer has FDC sometimes too! It’s okay to look like the Michelin Man in photos once in awhile! Hurrah!” God she's such a good role model.

And Jennifer’s not the only one. Check out…um…Christina Millian, maybe?

Hmm…am beginning to think that FDC may only be a “Latina Pandemic.”

Oh wait, spoke too soon.

Holy crap, Gerri Halliwell! That is NOT a pretty look for you. I’d look into some permanent yawn-removal therapy because you look as if someone just told you that the Spice Girls were orchestrating a reunion tour…in Iraq.

Annoyingly, there are some people who look kind of cute when they yawn. Take Heather Locklear as an example:

For the record, I’ll only say nice things about Heather on this blog because I think Denise Richards is three levels below Paris Hilton for dating Richie Sambora and, I think by now you all know how I feel about Paris Hilton. So Heather, I’ve got your back. Sorry Den-ASS Richards is giving all Denises a bad name.

And speaking of ass:

Ay chihuahua, Courtney. I kind of miss the days you were in rehab only because then I didn’t have to see you. This photo makes me want to hose you down with Clorox and shave your hair off.


I know you may be thinking that I’m a heartless cretin for making fun of sick children but don’t be fooled. This is not a sick 10 year old boy, this is Kirsten Dunst, looking very much like the girl who works at the check cashing store I had to go to once in Miami. Not pretty, I assure you.

And then there are the celebs who look almost, well, bored to be yawning. Like they can’t be bothered to strain their highly profitable facial muscles.

Gwen, I HEART you.


Drew, you’re starting to annoy me. You MUST have enough money by now that you can afford to hire a speech therapist and work on that lisp, right? And what in the name of Yahoo Serious is happening on top of your head?

And then there’s my favorite:

That’s one angry looking former supermodel. The bun, the chopsticks, the squinty eyes and big mouth. This look seems vaguely familiar to me. Ah, yes of course.