Hiccup...

Okay, we’ve all had one too many once in our lives. (some of us more than once…some of us have lost count, quite frankly) We’ve all done the walk of shame, the “I lost my shoe but can’t seem to care” shuffle, or prayed to the porcelain god Yak.

And you know what? Celebrities are just like us!

HA HA HA HA! Oh god, that’s rich! I kill me sometimes, you know? HA HA HA! Just like us! Riiiiiiiiiiiight!

Wooo weee…anywho, where was I? Oh yes. My point is that, although I know it’s wrong, drunk celebrity pictures bring me great joy because for that brief, boozy moment they really are just like us. (except for the body guard dragging them barefoot through the parking lot of an In-N-Out Burger to get them into the awaiting limo)

Pictures like these bring me joy. And if that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Let’s take a trip down Lush Celeb Memory Lane, shall we?

Ah yes, Nick Nolte. Let me be the first to say, I do not EVER condone drunk driving. It’s WRONG. But you know what’s REALLY wrong? That shirt. I can even forgive the hair – okay, maybe not. But the shirt? I didn’t even realize they had a Waikiki Willy’s in Beverly Hills. Except for the crack-whore hair-do, he looks like a waiter at a Bahama Breeze restaurant.


And how about this? Michelle Rodriguez from LOST. Ay mamcita. Not lookin’ so good. But know what? I don’t feel bad about this because one of my super-secret-sources (read: my sister Michelle) ran into her in an elevator the other day. Rodriguez wasn’t sure what floor she was going to and my sister asked if she could help. Girlfriend just looked at my sister as if she’d sprouted a second head and then turned away. Oh, and she got off on the wrong floor. Dumbass. Serves you right. Now go brush your hair and stop being weirdly androgynous.


And then there’s Tara Reid.



…and Tara Reid…


…and of course, Tara Reid.


The best part of that picture is Paris Hilton’s face. Paris looks ANNOYED by Tara. PARIS HILTON. Anyone see the irony? No? Let me help:




Better now? Okay.

Now there is one drunk celebrity picture that does NOT make me giddy as a schoolgirl. Because I love Matthew McCounaughey. What’s not to love, right? Those eyes! Those curls! That smile! The rugged good looks and charming Texan accent that I hate on every other living being…but not Matthew. Sigh. He completes me.


But not so much like this:


Oh Matthew…how could something so wrong still be so right.