I can see right through you...

Tara Reid, you big skanky skanker McSkankyPants. What is this outfit all about?

I am SO tired of seeing your boobs. Or any part of your lady bits, for that matter. Don’t they have opaque fabric where you come from? Must we all be forced to see your ta-tas once a month?



And those shoes! Today on the subway I saw a lady wearing clear, neon orange, plastic mules with sequined flowers on top. I said to myself, “Self, those are the ugliest f-ing shoes you’ve ever seen!” WRONG. First, these are an ankle sprain waiting to happen. Second, I’m pretty sure she bought them at a store called “Exotic Lady” or perhaps, “The Whore Shack” because these look like standard issue stripper shoes to me.

See-through shirt. See-through shoes. A skirt that could double as a kitschy denim clutch your Aunt Louise bought you at the Church Bazaar. What’s the point of wearing clothes if you’re going to wear them like this?

Don’t even get me started on the hair or on the fact that her skin is the color of a basketball and probably just as leathery.

Tara, just STOP. How about jeans? A blazer? Lord god, I’d settle for a skirt that covered more than 40% of your hoo-ha.

Hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?