A new target for my wrath...

Uh uh. Oh no she didn't. It's ON, Jessica Biel.

Quite frankly, up until recently Jessica Biel wasn't even on my radar screen. She's a nobody as far as I'm concerned. I didn't watch 7th Heaven, I didn't buy the L'Oreal shampoo she was hawking. It's not that I didn't like her - I just didn't care one way or another.

But now the situation has changed.

NOW I WANT THE ATTENTION WHORE TO GO AWAY.

First, she goes and auctions off a date with herself. I don't care if it was for charity. Come ON! Seriously? Can't you just donate some cash? A car? Something else? I hate her. HATE HER.

And NOW she's trying to get all "woman of color" (WoC) on us and I, speaking as a WoC, am NOT having it. No idea what I mean? (of course you do but go ahead and pretend you're all politically correct) Look at these pictures from the premiere of her new movie "The Illusionist":



Why is she standing like that? It's so obvious that she's pushing her butt out. Look at the arch of her back! That can't be comfortable. This is the ass equivilant of taping up your boobs with duct tape. (ouch)



She's practically auditioning for Cirque du Soleil! That's not natural, girlfriend, and we REAL WoC can tell.



It works on Jennifer Lopez and Salma Hayek, honey. But YOU, Jessica Claire Biel, are NO Jennifer and no Salma.

And for the record, if having a big ass is cool and sexy, then People magazine got it wrong, sister. I am the Sexiest Woman Alive.