For the love of Ginger, Baby, Scary and Sporty...

I've said it once, I'll say it again. Victoria Beckham frightens me. I was surfing People.com and looking at photos from the blessed union of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (no wedding photos yet - just photos of the wedding guests) when I came across a slew of pics of Ms. Posh wandering about the small town in Italy in which the wedding took place.

Exhibit A:


Is it me or are these two people who you would NOT want to hang out with? First of all, lady, you're on vacation. There's no need for the matronly librarian outfit complete with sensible neck warmer to keep you from the chill. And David - I mean, look, I love you enough to want to have your love child - but the outfit is a wee bit too reminiscent of Robert Redford's AARP magazine cover.

Exhibit B:


Here's Posh headed for a night on the town the night before the wedding. Is that a joke? She's not ACTUALLY wearing a see-through shirt, pasties and white cotton candy around her waist, is she?

Exhibit C:


This is what she wore to the wedding. I shit you not. Here's the thing, I understand that the British have an affinity toward hats, but Posh, baby, sweetheart, really? The "hat" looks like something from the Isaac Mizrahi for Target dinnerware collection. (of which I own several pieces, none of which I'd consider wearing on my head)

Furthermore, I believe I just posted another photo of Posh wearing the same odd black rubber tubing around the potato sack coat.



Seems like it also doubles as a chastity bra keeping the girls in place. Which is, I suppose, appropriate level of gravitas for a wedding.