Allan's Useless Fact of the Week...

I got a doozy from Allan this week.

More people are killed by falling coconuts than sky diving accidents.



I didn’t believe this one. I thought Allan was pulling my leg. But guess what? He was right! Some reports I found online suggest that more than 150 people are killed by falling coconuts each year. That’s 15 times the number of people killed by shark attacks.

I’m a Florida girl and after seeing the movie Jaws I was terrified of being attacked by a shark (like even in my swimming pool – don’t mock me, it was a very traumatic movie). But now I know that what I really should’ve been worried about was getting clocked by a large nut! Death by coconut. How tragic. One time in college I had one too many Coco Locos and thought I was going to suffer death by coconut, but getting killed by an actual coconut somehow seems less glamorous.

No, but seriously people. This is a big problem. 2.5% of trauma admissions to the hospital in Alotau, Papua New Guinea are people who’ve been hurt by a falling coconut. 2.5%! And in Alotau that’s gotta be like…what?...three people? Holy Moses it’s an epidemic.

How to Protect Yourself from Senseless Coconut Violence
1. When passing under a coconut tree, listen for rustling.
2. Check that it’s not Keith Richards going for a climb.
3. If it’s not Keith (and you’ll be able to tell because it won’t smell like whiskey, cigarettes and Aspercreme) run like hell.
4. If you DO get hit, try not to die. Seek medical help immediately. And by medical help I do not mean tequila shots to dull the pain. (though I’m certain they would help)
5. Refrain from unnecessary jokes, such as “did someone get the license plate on that coconut?”

If that doesn’t work you can get a Coconet, invented by some bored guy in Australia. (not kidding – click here to see it for yourself) Our friends at Coconet remind visitors to the site that “Coconuts fall at random, silently, and if hit, can kill or seriously injure. Literally hundreds of people are injured and many people die or are permanently disabled due to this on a yearly basis.”

(ASIDE: I hate when people overuse the word "literally." I mean, is it necessary here? Can you "figuratively" get hit on the head by a coconut?)

Readers, you’ve been warned. Should you choose to ignore my advice, your blood will not be on my hands.