Hottest Bachelors and Other Dudes...

People magazine just came out with its list of “Hottest Bachelors” and guess who came in at number one?

Taylor Hicks.



People, are you SERIOUS? The man is just a leisure suit away from being a Vegas lounge act. And not even a headliner.

It just goes to show you that when a man is famous or wealthy his sex appeal increases – or, in Taylor’s case, comes into existence. You’d never see an unattractive woman on a list of “Hottest Bachelorettes.” Please. You think someone like Cameron Manheim – smart, talented and charming as she is – would make a Top Hotties list in any magazine? I think not.

And you know what? If you’re going to put Taylor on the list, why not Gilbert Gottfried or Ruben Studdard or maybe Sloth from The Goonies, or the kid from that Cher movie Mask, huh? Why stop at Taylor?



Okay. Maybe I’m getting carried away. It does seem that they did a good job on the rest of the list. Here are a few examples of those included:

Matthew McConaughey
– Holy crap, I had no idea he was newly single. I can officially start some guilt-free stalking now.

Nick Lachey
– God he’s cute. Dumber than a bag of hair, but cute.

Jake Gyllenhaal
– I think it’s nice that People is including men who cater to its gay teen demographic.

Kenny Chesney
– I prefer Keith Urban. (I’m sure he’s on the list – on newsstands Friday)

Ryan Seacrest
– I can’t hate Ryan Seacrest. I want to, but I can’t. He actually seems nice. Like, a wee bit Hollywood, but nice. And I really wish that I could sound as cool when I say “Denise. OUT.” when I leave a meeting at work.

Jamie Foxx
– I’m over him. He’s talented. He has a nice bod. Blah, blah, blah. Take off the sunglasses when you’re indoors for God’s sake.

Owen Wilson
– I feel that Luke Wilson is the underrated brother.

Wentworth Miller
– Okay, let me make something clear. I would punch my mother in the face for one night with Wentworth Miller. But you know who doesn’t get enough credit? Dominic Purcell, Wentworth’s castmate on Prison Break, also known as my future baby daddy.



Back off ladies. Dominic is mine all mine.