Yikes...

Okay, get this. Boy George meets a male prostitute (Auden Carlsen) on a web site called Gaydar (of course), invites him over to his place for a little "photoshoot" and agrees to pay him about $800. The guy comes over, George makes him dress up in leather fetish gear and then takes some kinky photos.

Then hilarity ensues:

Carlsen said: “George said he was popping out for milk at 5am. I heard him come back and I walked into his bedroom wearing just my white underpants and a T-shirt. I was jumped on by George and another man.

“George handcuffed me to a hook by the bed as they held me down.”

He said George got rid of the blond man then produced a box of whips and sex toys — telling him: “Now you’ll get what you deserve.”

Carlsen pulled the hook from the wall and fled — then alerted the police from a nearby newsagent’s at 6.30am on Saturday.

George — real name George O’Dowd — was taken to a police station.

Wow, really? Go figure. Never wouldn't taken George to be the kinky type. Mmm hmm...

Amy Winehouse needs a leave-in treatment...

Amy Winehouse sings about how "they tried to make [her] go to rehab but [she] said no, no, no."

Quite frankly, I think her loved ones should've pushed LESS for rehab and MORE for the hair salon. Because this mess is not my favorite:



This just looks like it hurt to get in place. Imagine how much teasing went into that beehive. And imagine what it will take to get it out.

And why would a girl ever want to do that to herself?

I don't understand. I just don't understand.

Eew. She also needs to eat something. Immediately. Something cooked in lard.

These boots are made for burning...

Britney Lynn Spears,

I want to take those boots and burn them. And the fishnet tights. And that entire outfit, really.

Come on. Seriously? You're SERIOUSLY wearing that trainwreck of an outfit out of the house? In public? Like, public public?

Not cool.

Do you not own a mirror? You should get one. It helps. Like one time I thought about maybe wearing black shoes with something and then I looked in my MIRROR and realized that brown was a better option. Granted, I have never once considered wearing old fishnet tights with ugly brown cowboy boots and a tan fedroa and a see-through...a see-through...oh my god what IS that?!

Britney, no. NO. Just...NO.

This hurts you more than it hurts me...

~ D

(more pictures of this fantastic outfit here...why you would want to subject yourself to that, I just don't know)

Train wreck gets implant, names cat after drug paraphrenalia...

The Babyshambles frontman, who has battled heroin and cocaine addictions, will return to a Midlands clinic today to receive a new implant to help beat drugs.

A friend of Pete's said: "Pete hopes this new implant will help him quit for good."

The implant, a pellet containing naltrexone, will be inserted under the skin of Pete's stomach.

The 28-year-old rocker won't be alone for the procedure. The couple's cat Dinger - slang for syringe - recently gave birth to five kittens, and the singer has apparently been taking them everywhere with him.

Kittens? WTF? I can't...I mean, I don't even know where to begin.

Yes, I do.

GROSS. CREEPY. ICK.

My money's on Fergie-Ferg...

Star magazine is reporting a feud between Fergie and Nelly Furtado:

A source tells Star that in fergie's new song 'impacto,' (with Daddy Yankee) she refers to the "Promiscuous" singer, saying, "I ain't promiscuous, the realest chick up in this...I'ma pull your wig back!" The source says the beef started several months ago at an LA awards show when Nelly asked Fergie, "What's your problem? Why are you dissing me in your song 'Fergalicious'?" Fergie denied she was attacking her, but it seems nelly won't give up: "Nelly then dissed Fergie in the new song 'give it to me,' and now they're in serious competition!" says the source.

No, seriously? What? Now Nelly Furtado owns the word "promiscuous?" No one else ever uttered the word "promiscuous" until Nelly wrote a song about it. A song which was voted Best Song at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards, something I have HUGE problem with because I'm fairly certain I wouldn't want my 10 year old daughter singing about how she's a slut. But hey, maybe my parental expectations are different than other peoples'.

MENSA candidate of the day...

Joss Stone.

"We shouldn’t be mad at Britney Spears because she didn’t wear underwear. That’s her choice. She wasn’t hurting anybody. That was her. She decided not to wear underwear. Maybe she wanted a little breeze. That’s her decision. But we should be mad at the guy who posted it on the Internet. What an [expletive], what a [expletive] [expletive]. That’s a really mean, nasty, malicious, terrible thing to do to somebody."

Snoop DENIED again...

Oh, Snoopy...why must they persecute you so?

A better question might be, what cave was the Australian immigration administration living in that they JUST realized that PERHAPS Snoop Dogg isn't the best role model for the youth down under? The government has decided to deny entry for Snoop Dogg who was schedule to perform at the Australian MTV Music Awards.

“The reality is … he has a whole string of convictions, and just two weeks ago I was told he was convicted on a number of charges again and sentenced to three years imprisonment on two, and three years imprisonment on another, with five years probation and a suspended sentence,” immigration official Kevin Andrews said. “He has been denied entry into the U.K. because he was caught with others causing a fray at Heathrow Airport. He doesn’t seem the sort of bloke we want in this country.”

So he has a shady past! Come on, Australia! Your entire country was established by prisoners! And I mean, if that's not the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is.

Snoopy-poop, I support you. Just let me know where to send the petition.

SO NOT COOL...

A police raid on Atlanta Falcon Michael Vick's house found 60 "scarred and emaciated" pitbulls allegedly used for dog-fighting.

I can't even comment. That makes me ill.

Ew...

Let the record reflect that I love a good flaming homosexual. I do!

I just don't love THIS flaming homosexual.

And I especially don't love that he's trying to capitalize on his former affiliation with Anna Nicole Smith.

I hope he chokes on his boa feathers.

Alec vs. Dora...

Click here to listen to Alec Baldwin call Dora the Explorer!

Top 10 Most Annoying TV Personalities...

Netscape just released it's list of Top 10 Most Annoying TV Personalities...and I must say, I think they did a damn good job.

10. William Shatner



9. Billy Bush



8. The Hoff



7. Rosie O’Donnell



6. Donald Trump



5. Kathy Griffin (who I secretly enjoy a great deal)



4. Nancy Grace



3. Ryan Seacrest



2. Joan Rivers (Man, you've gotta give this woman credit. She's 900 years old and still funny and out there...I love you, Joanie!)



1. Bill O'Reilly

Great moments in literature...

Aw, remember this Britney Spears?



Me either.

THIS Britney Spears is reportedly writing a tell-all autobiography:



And by "writing" I of course mean babbling endlessly and incoherently while some ghost writer tries to make sense of her "y'all-spattered" psychobabble.

It's going to be awesome and I'm totally pre-ordering my copy.

Yay Drew!

Congratulations to Drew Barrymore for being named People magazine's Most Beautiful Person of the Year!

I love that Drew Barrymore. I mean, SURE she had that little drug "thing" a few years back. And, SURE she married that total tool bag douche monkey, Tom Greene. But hey, I dated a guy who owned dozens of Star Wars dolls or, as he called them, "collectibles." My point is, we all make mistakes.

All in all Drew strikes me as the kind of girl who'd be fun to grab a beer with. She can probably belch the alphabet and while I usually don't find that kind of shenanigan appropriate, you have to admit it that it requires a keen skill that I myself don't possess. (I could try, but I'm fairly certain I would vomit)

Whacko alert...

Some nutjob tried to kill Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James as Sandy and James' 10-year old child watched.

According to TMZ:

Cops say that Bullock, along with James' 10-year-old child, looked on in horror as Marcia Valentine "attempted 3 or 4 times to run Jesse James over with her silver Mercedes." Jesse was never struck by the car during the alleged incident.

We're told Valentine also "laid in the driveway and wouldn't move."

Orange County Sheriffs were contacted and responded to the scene, but Valentine allegedly fled before they arrived. After an intense manhunt, officers located Valentine early Monday morning and took her into custody.

Valentine is being held on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.

Not cool, Valentine! I love my Sandy Bullock and her hubby by extension. And you know what I kind of just realized while looking at that picture? He's kind of DWL. Dirty wrong love. And if that's wrong I don't wanna be right.

When celebrities attack...

I'm Not Obsessed has a great recap of this year's best Celebrity vs. Paparazzi feuds!

Click here to check it out!

K-Fed got himself a job!

And the award for greatest comeback (is it a comeback if you were never "there" to begin with?) goes to....Kevin Federline, the new Axe Body Spray/Wash spokesperson!



And I mean, it's a natural fit, right? When I think of K-Fed I think of clean and fresh smelling.



Of roses and the fresh scent of the ocean.



Of lavender and fabric softner sheets and cinnamon buns.



Of Marlboro Reds and Colt 45 and Whataburger. Oh wait...

Celebrity DUI of the Week!

Eve (real name: Eve Jeffers) was driving her gold Maserati in Hollywood around 2:45 AM Thursday when she hit the center divider, totaling the front of her car. TMZ was on the scene, and observed that after cops arrived, Eve was placed in handcuffs and (according to TMZ staffers) was “visibly upset” as they led her into a squad car. TMZ learned that there were two people in the car with Eve at the time.

Click here to check out the video.

Tobey Maguire is douchey...

According to Page Six:

Maguire rolls with an entourage of 10, including his fiancée, Jennifer Meyer, their daughter, Ruby, and a personal chef who cooks him vegetarian meals. The star also requires "two cases of the water he likes, a rocking chair in his hotel bedroom, and a full-size refrigerator." A rep for Maguire had "no comment."

Maybe I can accept that the rocking chair is for the baby...maybe. But a full size refrigerator? Two cases of the water he likes? Come on. Seriously?

Oh, gross...

Rhymes with Snitch has this picture on the site:



It's "allegedly" of Michael Jordan whoring it up with two sorority chicks in Cabo. This kind of grosses me out. I mean, this man is a father and these girls...well these girls just ain't right.

Why do women do that? A couple of drinks and suddenly they're rubbing their asses up against any guy in a 5 foot radius?

Okay, okay...in all fairness they are rubbing their asses on a living legend so I suppose that makes it a LITTLE bit more okay. Because I mean, it's Michael-Freakin'-Jordan after all. And if Michael-Freakin'-Jordan wanted to dirty dance with me at some sketchy Mexican bar I would totally do it...assuming that someone had a camera with which to document my questionable behavior.

Angry young man...

What in God's good name do these people have to be so angry about? (I mean other than angry at the photographer who took the above photo) First Alec Baldwin and now Hugh Grant. My second question is, why would you waste some perfectly good beans?

The following report is about an incident that happened yesterday.

The star allegedly kicked him three times and kneed him near the groin. Photographer Ian Whittaker, ‘It looked like he had been out for a morning jog. I asked him if he would give me a smile because he was standing with his head down. But he must have been having a bad day because he started chasing me down the street. He gave me a couple of kicks in the legs and I think he kneed me.’ Whittaker described how the ‘Music and Lyrics’ star then picked up a takeaway container full of beans and threw it at him.

The photographer also claimed 46-year-old Hugh - who recently split from his girlfriend Jemima Khan - launched into a tirade of abuse aimed at his children. Whittaker said: ‘When I told him I had two children, he snarled, ‘I hope they die of f***ing cancer’. That really upset me and is why I went to the police to make a complaint of assault against him. He was out of order.’ Metropolitan police confirmed last night that the incident had been reported and they were planning to question Hugh on the matter.

No, seriously? Not cool, Hugh. Not cool. (click here for pics)

I vote we put Hugh, Alec, Michael Richards and Isaiah Washington into an American Gladiators-style stadium and let them duke it out. More effective than therapy plus it'll make for some good Pay-Per-View.

All hail the Ice Queen...

I know it's hard to believe but insiders part of Victoria Beckham's new reality show claim she's a "grade-A bitch." According to reports from Britain's Star magazine, people close to the production say:

"She waltzes around with her icy attitude. People will walk up to her and say, 'Welcome to America', or, 'Good luck with the move', and she doesn't even stop to talk to them. The show is designed to make her a star in the States, but she's dreaming if she thinks that's going to happen. She's coming off as a grade-A bitch!"

See now that is just SO odd to me! Poshy strikes me as such a warm individual. She just needs to be in the right environment. Just look at the expression of sheer joy on her face while she's skiing:



Or how about her impassioned cheering for her husband's soccer team:



Or taking the kids out for a stroll - see the unbrideled happiness?



Of course you can! So I think that saucy chap is just looking to stir up trouble! A pox on you, saucy chap! Stop trying to spoil dear Poshy's good name.

Who Cares News of the Day: Rosie's leaving The View...

O'Donnell said: "This has been an amazing experience, and one I wouldn't have traded for the world. Working with Barbara, Joy and Elisabeth has been one of the highlights of my career, but my needs for the future just didn't dovetail with what ABC was able to offer me. To all the viewers out there, I just want to say 'thank you' for opening up your hearts and your homes to me this past year. But you can always find me at rosie.com. Here's hoping there's more confetti for all of us going forward."

Is it just me? I absolutely HATE The View with a passion. I hate hearly these self-aggrandizing women cackling like chickens in a hen house. I feel sorry for guests on the show because it seems that they're always being trampled by one or more of the hosts trying to share their own opinion on everything from split ends to genocide in Darfur. ENOUGH ALREADY!

.....

I'm cranky.

Will Ferrell is a comic genius...

OH.
MY.
GOD.

I think I just peed my pants.

Click here.

Recap of last week...

Hmm...what'd I miss while I was gone?



Alec Baldwin lost his mind and left his 11 year old daughter a hateful voicemail on her cellphone. And, being the saucy little minx that she is, she forwarded it everyone with an email address. Take a listen.

Brilliant. Just bleeping brilliant. Dude, why so angry Alec?

What else? Oh yes, Britney Spears is still a train wreck. Click here for a montage of her elegant ensembles this weekend. Here's a little taste of crazy for you:



Aw, pretty. Oh, and then there's this lovely taped message she left for X17...she's a gentleman and a scholar, that Britney...and a nut job. (click here)

Sanjaya was invited to the White House.



No, seriously. No, for real. And if you STILL think this administration is on the level well, I can't help you. No one can.



Oh, and The National Enquirerer, that monument to fine journalism, is reporting that Larry Birkhead is gay and that his secret lover has exposed their torrid love affair.

.....



And in other "who cares news," Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are moving in together. Siiiiigh...boooooring. (bitter, party of one!)

Oh, here's a good one. Rapper Akon is in trouble for basically dry humping the crap out of a 14 year old daughter of a minister. In his defense this girl does NOT look 14 but good lord god, that's some SERIOUS energy that boy's got. Click here to see videos and photos.

Rumor has it Renee Zelwegger is dating (MY FUTURE HUSBAND) John Krasinski.



Ew.

Now I'm too hurt to continue this post. Talk amongst yourselves.

While I was out...

Sorry for not posting in so long. It's been a crazy couple of weeks and I'm 8 hours away from hopping on another flight...ew. Work is really cramping my blog style. By anywho, I digress.

I was doing a little blog surfing today to see what I've been missing. And it's been a great week!

First, Chloe Sevigny went out in an outfit that didn't automatically give me a seizure. And yes, it's ridiculously short but all "baby factory jokes" aside, it's rather cute and she looks rather fresh and pretty, no?

\

But perhaps the best "extreme makeover award" goes to our dear post-rehab Britney. Looks! Panties! Hooray!



I mean, I don't know what's up with the rest of the outfit but...PANTIES! HOORAY! (baby steps...)

Hmm...what else? Oh yes. Pete Doherty is still a disgusting gross-o-pants. See?



And apparently his friends are having an intervention...so um, yeah...good luck with that. I'd like to intervene with a facial and some self-tanner...and make a cheeseburger and a manicure...and shampoo...or maybe turpintine. But um, okay great. Good luck, Pete!

Oh, get this. Lindsay Lohan told Allure magazine that she's the protector of all her friends. Page Six reports LiLo saying: "When my friends and family are around me I feel like they're safe . . . When my friends have left me - I've just seen everything collapse. They're not safe without me."

Uh, riiiiiiiight. Other fantastic snippets include:

"It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab." And, "Everybody's tired of hearing things about me and them . . . I think it's just better for me to lie low and get better."

Let's see how long it takes for her to deny she said any of this.

And the best news ever? A reality show to cast the next Menudo is said to be in the works.



If you don't know the joys of Menudo, log on to iTunes immediately and download...IMMEDIATELY. NOW.

Okay, that's all I have to say for now. All in all a very good week!