Alicia Keyes – hair today, gone tomorrow…

Doesn’t Alicia Keyes look lovely? True, the bangs are a wee bit too long and I don’t particularly love her shirt which looks like it's been misbuttoned, but it’s Alicia and we’ve all come to expect some unconventionalism when it comes to her wardrobe.

Know what I didn’t expect? Her hairy chest:



Ay mama. Listen, some women are hairier than others. It’s just a fact of life and it’s the reason I pay $50 to have a Ukrainian woman pour hot wax on me and then rip it off. (contrary to popular belief that I do it just for the attention) I know girls who wax their arms, their sideburns, their toes and eyebrows and everything in between. The point is if you’ve got hairy bits you do something about them.

And if I had Alicia’s money and hairy chest, I would laser that mop off.

Holy Harry!

I'm really kind of uncomfortable saying this. Really, I am. Because I've seen all the Harry Potter movies starting when Daniel Radcliffe (Harry) was like 12 years old. And though I'm fairly certain that he's still like 15 (okay, he'll be 18 this year) I just saw these promotional pictures from his theater debut in London's West End and I can help but think hellooooooooooooooooo, Harry!





I must go wash myself now. I feel dirty.

Attention whore, party of one?

This is what Sienna Miller wore to the post-premiere party for Factory Girl.



Hmm. What's wrong with this picture?

Her hair? Yes, it's a big puffy - could use a little styling cream perhaps. Her make-up? No, it looks okay - maybe another coat of lipgloss would do but other than that, it's okay. True, her top looks like a rejected Muppet. But it's not terrible.

Oh wait! Pants! Of course! It seems Sienna decided this was a "pants optional" event. I didn't realize that pants were optional? Of course, if I were to attend a "pants optional" party I would probably wear more attractive under garments. I would probably NOT break out my control top granny panties because, afterall, this is a formal and classy event.

And I, like Sienna, am all about class.

Um, yeah...

Listen, I'm entitled to change my opinion. And I have. Sort of. At least for today.

Perhaps it was the fact that someone at my office made hazelnut coffee instead of the regular brew. Perhaps it's the fact that this morning I woke without need for my alarm clock and feeling quite energized. Whatever it is, this warm and fuzzy moment I'm having has caused me to briefly open my catty arms and embrace a certain Mr. Kevin Federline.

A Socialite's Life has his new Nationwide Insurance ad up. And it is, I dare say, brilliant. Click here to view.

GoFugYourself is brilliant...

Please read this post about Marilyn Manson's new love bunny, Evan Rachel Wood...er, I mean Fug.

Click here.

Oh heeeeeeeeell no...not my man!

I can't...I mean...why would he...I just...

I am in shock.

My future ex-husband, George Clooney is ALLEGEDLY dating Pam Anderson. The two were seen canoodling at an LA restaurant together (alone in a closed off VIP section) and have been spotted all over town walking their dogs together!

WTF?!

Listen, I like Pammy. Correction, I like when she's dating train wrecks like Kid Rock or Tommy Lee and hilarity ensues...NOT when she's muscling in on my territory. And yes, I realize that this relationship won't last but that is NOT the point.

BACK OFF, LADY! I mean it! Keep your Big H-ridden paws off my Georgie-poo.

BWOT’s Song Lyrics of the Week!

U & Dat by E-40

Girl, I been shaking, sticking and moving
tryna to get you and that booty
Tryna get to you and that booty
Tryna get to you and that booty

Girl, I been shaking and acting a donkey
tryna to get you and that monkey
Tryna to get you and that monkey
Tryna to get you and that monkey

Wait. So, booty = monkey? I am confused. But I'm fascinated that his album is titled "My Ghetto Report Card."

Just because it's Tuesday...

Here's a recent photo of my muse, Coco T.



It was nice of Olivia Newton-John to loan out her "Sandy" costume from Grease. Hope Coco doesn't stretch out the top too much.

Sundance wardrobe malfunction...

This is the kind of ensemble that I've come to expect from Zooey Deschanel:



Hideous pattern, bad fit, awkward tights, ugly shoes. But I think she's adorable and I find her on-screen antics quite enjoyable and I freakin' LOVED the movie Elf so I can forgive all these grievances. I've come to love Zooey because she provides a bit of comic relief - if everyone in the world was fabulously put together all the time, who would I have to make fun of? And where's the fun in being NICE to people all the time? Answer: there is none.

Anywho, as I said, I've come to expect these kinds assaults on the eyes from Zooey. I have NOT, however, come to expect it from Mandy:



Alright, we get it. You were depressed. Must you illustrate that depression in the form of a wearable 1974 Romper Room? I think not.

Take a pill like the rest of us do and spare us from rust-colored corduroy.

Love is pushing it...

Jennifer Love Hewitt has grown on me. I don't watch her stupid Ghost Whisperer show but I think she's rather cute and well dressed and devoid of a penchat for flashing nipple so, in my book that makes her a high quality young celeb.

That does not, however, mean that I can excuse this hideous ensemble:



Uggs with a muumuu? Are you serious? And no, she's not pregnant. At least I couldn't find anything that confirmed a pregnancy. Not that a pregnancy would excuse this disaster straight from the Tori Spelling School of Maternity Dress.

Her hair looks blow-dried, her make-up fresh...so she clearly put some effort into her appearance. But that outfit? I'm...I'm so confused. Bewildered. I don't know what to think any more.

I need a hug.

What's our favorite pop tart been up to?

Oh, the usual. Wearing hideous outfits and mysteriously shielding her youngest son from the eyes of the world while dangling her oldest like shark bait for the paparazzi.



Oh, and she's also taken to sucking a pacifier. So, all in all, just another day at the office for Ms. Brit.

Good from far, far from good...

Aw, Beyonce looks lovely. Nice dress, nice figure, pretty make-up, nice...



...wig.

Okay, seriously? It's time for her to get a new hair person because this is the third time in a month that I've seen the girl's "hair" coming off her head.

American Idol auditions are my FAVORITE...

Have you been watching American Idol? No? Fine.

But please, do me a favor and watch this beautiful compilation of some of Seattle's finest musical talent:

This hurts me more than it hurts you, Bill...

DListed is speculating that Rose McGowan is big into la cocaina. This is the insider story they posted today:

My fiance works for a music act and hung out with Rose McGowan a few months ago. She is friends with the Street Drum Corps (who was opening for the band) and my fiance confirmed what you suspect. She is a major coke-whore, and was blowing lines all night long. She also looks like she’s had a bit of work done (lip injections anyone?), which is a shame because she was really hot.

Then they included this photo. Holy crap. I had to check on IMDB to confirm her age - she's only 33, way too young to be carrying those bags under her eyes.



But damn, if this isn't a good anti-drug campaign item, I don't know what is.

Sweet Jesus there is a god...

BRITNEY IS NOT PREGNANT!

And that's great news...except for the fact that now we can't blame this look on baby bloat:

What the heck happened to Sienna?

Here's Sienna Miller on the red carpet at The Golden Globes earlier this week. I absolutely hate her hair and I'm not crazy about the dress but she's a very pretty woman and she looks glowing and pretty. (and not like someone who comes from Sh***burgh)



Fast forward to the end of the night and here she is outside a post-Globes party:



What in God's good name did this woman do to her dress? Look, I'm a clutz and the queen of falling down in formal wear and ripping something. But this looks like she's reenacting that scene in Cinderella where the evil stepsisters rip up the pretty dress the mice and birdies made for her? I mean, maybe that's why Drew Barrymore is there - maybe she did this to Sienna.

But seriously, how did she DO that? It looks like she had an unfortunate run-in with a machete. Or an Olsen.



Some mysteries are just not meant to be solved.

It's about f-ing time!

According to UsWeekly:

Lindsay Lohan entered the luxe rehab facility Wonderland Center in Los Angeles' Laurel Canyon on Wednesday afternoon at 2:30 p.m., Us Weekly has learned.

"I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health," Lohan tells Us Weekly through her rep, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick. "I appreciate your well-wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time."

She arrived at the facility in a blacked out SUV followed by a caravan of two other cars. Looking somber, the actress carried a dark Balenciaga bag and a Jamba Juice, she wore black tights, a green flannel shirt, a leather jacket, and a black baseball cap that said "Lola."

Though Lohan didn't attend the Golden Globe Awards, the actress was spotted at Prince's after-party at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel where "she was totally out of it," according to an onlooker.

Dear lord Jesus...

Sweet Jesus. InTouch magazine is reporting that Britney might be pregnant again. I can't even talk about it. I'm so upset.

Click here to read more.

A match made in heaven...

Here's little Kate Moss celebrating her 33rd birthday with boyfriend (and good influence) Pete Doherty:





Well happy birthday, Kate!

It's intervention time...

Matthew McConaughey is the most confusing man ever.

Some days I love him. Other days...well, other days he looks like this:







I think it's time for an intervention.

New couple alert!

Look who's dating Dylan!

This is NO good...

At first I thought I'd spotted Big Foot but then I realized it was just a picture of Steven Tyler. I knew Steven Tyler was old...but this...this is just wrong.

BWOT’S Song Lyrics of the Week!

Nana (The Yummy Song) by Baby Bash



I can't wait, I got a date manana
and my girl got a platinum nana
she smell like Shaqel with her cucumber melon
and her fashion is dipped in Prada Prada

Other lyrics say:

she's so yummy yummy yummy
ohh she's sweet as honey
ohh I gotta get some na na, na na

and:

some na na (na na na)
some na na (na na na)
some na na (na na na)
some na na (na na na)

Now I’ve seen it all, readers. The entire song is about a woman’s vajayjay…a platinum vajayjay at that. That’s one SPECIAL nana.

I've never been drunk either, Paula...

Hiccup!

Like mother like daughter...

I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.



"Dina [Lohan], spotted in a “really short dress and boots,” made some fellow diners at Kobe Club lose their appetites Wednesday night. A guy sitting next to Dina was “all over her,” we’re told. “Dina had a napkin in her lap and hiked up her dress,” our source says. “The guy put his hand under her napkin . . . It went on for like five minutes.” After the guy realized he was being watched, he stopped whatever it was he was doing. A rep for Dina said, “That’s a disgusting lie and it’s completely untrue."

Not your mother's boy band reality show...

According to Starpulse News Blog:

In "Untitled Boy Band Project," premiering late Spring 2007, four boy band legends: Chris Kirkpatrick (N*SYNC); Jeff Timmons (98 Degrees); Rich Cronin (LFO) and Bryan Abrams (Color Me Badd) will live together for one month, create new music, a dynamic stage show and perform as a new pop group.

See, at first I was kind of like, LAME. And then I remembered...




...some of these guys are kind of hot! Like Jeff from 98 Degrees? Hot. Or the guy from LFO? Hot. Okay, okay...so the dude from Color Me Badd is still kind of creepy and I can't look at him without hearing "I Wanna Sex U Up" in my head...but you get my point.

I may have to watch this show.

Who doesn't love claymation?

The MK and Ashley bit is hilarious!

Other things I don't care about...

Here are some little pieces of gossip that I don't care enough about to post solo.


1. Drew Barrymore and the dude from The Strokes broke up.
Well cry me an f-ing river, Drew. Sorry to hear your love life sucks. Join the club.


2. Hilary Duff is jealous that her ex-boyfriend is banging Nicole Richie.
I think Hilary is way cuter than Nicole. And I think the guy in question looks like a dirty hooligan. So all in all, don't care.


3. Mr. Blackwell issued his annual "Worst Dressed" list - Paris and Britney are tied at number one.
Um, THIS is news? No. Don't care.

4. Mandy Moore is dating Nicole Richie's ex-boyfriend, DJ Am.
Think Mandy is adorable, think DJ Am looks like a dweeb. Again, don't care.

5. Basketball star Jason Kidd has filed for divorce from his wife who he has accused of physically abusing him.
Abuse ain't funny but...come on now. Give me a break. This isn't news it's an After School Special waiting to happen.

6. Marilyn Manson, whose divorce from wife Dita Von Teese isn't yet final, is dating some 12 year old actress...okay, she's not 12, she's like 19.
Gross, gross and double gross. Still don't get why someone would want to willingly have sex with this man. Don't care.


7. The National Enquirer is reporting that the real reason Lindsay Lohan was in the hospital was because her liver is all jacked up as a result of all her partying.
First of all, I don't care. Second, DUH!

8. Clare Danes and Billy Crudup are reportedly splitting because she hooked up with some bi-sexual co-star on the set of her new movie.
If you'll recall, Billy and Clare had an affair while Billy was married to a 7-month pregnant Mary Louise Parker. Karma's a bitch. And that IS something I care about...just not as it relates to these two b-listers.


9. David Beckham has signed on to play for the LA Galaxy which means that he and Posh are moving to California.
Wonder if current TSA regulations permit robots to pass through customs.


10. Derek Jeter and Jessica Biel are dating.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...I give it 3 months.


Other things I don't care about include the fact that Cameron and Justin broke up and he's already shacking up with Scarlett Johanson, Kelly Osbourne wants to pose for Playboy and the revealed her mom made her poop in a box so she could sent it to her enemies, and Kanye West might be getting his own reality show on HBO.

Blah. Who cares?

Um, okay.

I like Matthew Fox as much as the other 20/30-something who was once enthralled by Party of Five. And I've developed a terrible addicition to Lost in which I sometimes love Sawyer and sometimes love Jack. And sometimes I want to be the meat in a Sawyer/Jack sandwich.

But this isn't about me.

This is about Matthew Fox.

In the February issue of Men's Journal, Matthew tells the reporter: "I'm a liar and a cheat and a thief and the ultimate manipulator. I tell lies every day, man. And when I say I'm phenomenally manipulative, I am."
Okay...sort of killing my infatuation.

But wait, there's more:

"I really enjoy social boozing, and what I enjoy about it is when people I know and care about say and do things they normally wouldn't say or do. To make that happen I'll instigate anything."

And then he talks about his fondness for skinny dipping:

"As for the skinny-dipping, when I was a kid there wasn't a huge delineation in our family between having clothes on or not having clothes on. And the reason I have so much fun doing it now is people are so shocked by it, and, like, 'Oh, my God, Fox just took his clothes off!' But, I mean, just how long ago was it that we were all wandering around in loincloths?"

Listen, Foxy. There's a reason we don't wander around in loincloths anymore and that's because the majority of the population would look scary in one. Not that you fall into the icky majority. But...wait, what? I lost my train of thought...too busy picturing Matthew in a loin cloth.

When fashion attacks...

Listen, I know Tori Spelling is pregnant and that pregnancy does weird thing to a woman's mental state. But this...I mean, this is just bad:



Dye it orange and it's basically Fred Flinstones outfit...



...only with leggings.

And in other fashion train wreck news, Mischa Barton stepped out of the house wearing this little number:



For the love of...I don't even know what this is? A table cloth over a bikini top? Her newest crochet project? The result of a dare gone horribly, horribly awry?

Listen, ladies. You know it's a dire situation when Britney Spears actually looks more put together than you do.



Let's stop the madness.

Lil' Kim looks a lil' worn out...

I used to think Lil' Kim was so cute.



I mean, not like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap cute but cute in a "hey I'm a kooky badass rap star and check out my nipple covers that ain't really covering much nipple but I don't care 'cause I'm a kooky badass rap star" way.

That was until I saw this:



So this is what spending time in the pokey will do to a lady, huh?